Pitcher Gary Peters Strikes Me Out!

Imagine going to bat against an all-star. Strike three! Wait…someone’s calling from the mound, apologizing and thanking the batter for the out.

That mannerly moundsman might be Gary Peters, a two-time All-Star who led the American League in wins in 1964.

“I don’t do questionnaires! Sorry.

Gary Peters, 1963 AL ROY”

For the record, I don’t send a fill-in-the-blank worksheet. My personalized letter includes three questions.

Nevertheless, Peters included an autographed card of his own to lessen the agony of defeat, along with his autographed note of regret.

All collectors have gotten rejection before. The common types are:

1. RTS. “Return to Sender.” The addressee wants no part of your envelope.
2. Blankedy-blank. Your letter and card come back in your SASE. No signature. No explanation.
The lack of ink makes you feel like saying the above — unbleeped version.

I’d choose Gary Peters every time.

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